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Time-Worn Negotiation Practices Lead To Conflict and Lost Opportunities Worldwide, According To Pulitzer Prize-Winning Professor at Wharton Business School
GETTING MORE, an Immediate New York Times Bestseller, Debunks the Conventional Wisdom of Win-Win, the Use of Power, and Our Expectation of Rational Behavior
A revolutionary new book by a Pulitzer Prize-winning professor at The Wharton School of Business concludes that most of the conflicts and lost opportunities faced daily by people, businesses and countries are due to the flawed way we interact with others. The use of conventional negotiation skills, he finds, often does more harm than good.
In GETTING MORE: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World (publication date January 4, 2011), renowned negotiation practitioner Stuart Diamond says that time-worn tactics such as the use of power, and our reliance on logic and win-win, fail to meet people’s needs in achieving our goals in virtually every situation, from conducting business to raising kids, from the give and take of politics and diplomacy to the conflicts we encounter in everyday life. After less than one week on sale, the book debuted at #5 on the New York Times bestseller list; at #1 on the business book bestseller lists for both the Wall Street Journal and USA Today; and was deemed by FINS (a Wall Street Journal blog) the #1 business book to read in 2011.
Based on Professor Diamond’s research, teaching and consultation with more than 30,000 people in 45 countries over the past 20 years, the book asserts that emotions and perceptions are much more important than power and logic in dealing with people. Diamond claims that finding, valuing and addressing the pictures in the heads of the other person or party is more important than any collection of facts, evidence or resources that one can muster. This is very different from what passes for negotiation virtually everywhere – the threats, the power plays, the walking out, the invoking of economic sanctions, the win-wins, the leveraging of advantages, the good cop & bad cop routines. What those things mostly do, Diamond says, is create resentment and invoke retaliation, whether it be malicious disobedience at work, a child kicking and screaming with a temper tantrum, or–in its most extreme form– international terrorism. What the new model does is get others to listen and be more persuadable.
“It’s time for a new model of human interaction,” says Professor Diamond, whose negotiation course at The Wharton School has been the most sought after for 13 years, and who has taught and consulted with managers and executives from more than 200 of the Fortune 500 companies. “If you look closely at the conflict and lost opportunities we face daily, from Korea to health care, the economy to arguments with service providers, you can trace almost all of them to the fact that the fundamental approach people use toward each other is wrong.”
His jargon-free, practical prescription for change has struck a chord with readers, quickly moving GETTING MORE to the top of bestseller lists since its December 28 publication; it was also an immediate bestseller when it was published in Britain in October. The process Diamond proposes in the book was used to quickly resolve the 2008 Hollywood Writers Guild strike after a year of conflict. Among the comments by managers and reviewers: “a massive competitive advantage” (Microsoft); “practical, immediately applicable, highly effective” (Google); “invaluable” (NFL); “superb…immensely useful” (Kirkus); “outstanding” and “life-changing” (Amazon).
Diamond’s teaching and advice draw from his consulting expertise in dozens of countries, including Ukraine, Kuwait, Bolivia, China and Colombia, and his work as an executive in various industry sectors, including technology, agriculture and medical services. In conveying his strategies and insights, he uses the anecdotes of some 400 people who got more in their interactions in business and everyday life, including career promotions, huge discounts from retailers and service providers, better relationships with family, friends and other loved ones.
As GETTING MORE makes clear, the more important the negotiation is to the other parties, the more emotional they get: whether the conversation is about world peace, concluding a billion-dollar deal or persuading a child to willingly brush his teeth and go to bed. Buzz words like “win-win” suggest that negotiation is a rational process, but we live in an irrational world. “If I’m upset, I don’t want to hear about win-win,” Diamond says. “I want an apology, a concession, some empathy, some statement of my value. Otherwise, I won’t even listen to you.”
“People have to want to deal with you; if you try to force them through tough tactics, they will get back at you,” Diamond says. “If you apply pressure, they will feel manipulated. It’s a very short term strategy.” Diamond’s research shows that collaboration produces four times as much money and other value as confrontational negotiations.
Diamond says one major problem with negotiations today is that parties are not incremental enough, especially in a risky world. “This is about how to get more, not about getting everything,” he says. He likens the best negotiation process to professional baseball: If a batter with a .280 average gets only one extra hit every nine games (every 36 at bats), he becomes a .310 hitter—an improvement that, if sustained over a career, is worth $10 million more in annual compensation, and a spot in the Hall of Fame. Incremental, smaller steps often produce bigger results, he says.
The common sense, “invisible” strategies he discusses in GETTING MORE include finding and valuing the other party’s perceptions; being empathetic so they can better listen to you; embracing differences as a source of value; and trading items of unequal value. “To persuade them, you have to make the negotiation first about them, not you,” Diamond says. “You have to first find the pictures in their heads so you know where to start. One CEO said that the most valuable thing he ever did for his most important business client in a 20-year business relationship was to pick up the client’s mother-in-law at the airport one night. His actions had nothing to do with any deal, but it affected every deal forever after.”
Among the corporations Diamond has advised are Google, Microsoft, JP Morgan, and Prudential. Together, his course participants have made or saved billions of dollars for themselves and their companies. A newspaper in New Jersey saved $245 million on a deal. Individuals using his negotiation tools have won promotions and advanced their careers. A woman from India got out of her arranged marriage with her parents’ blessings. A business school graduate who was rejected by 18 firms got 12 final round interviews from the same firms, and a job, after using Diamond’s negotiation tools. Travelers and shoppers have gotten extraordinary discounts. U.S. armed services are starting to use these tools in Afghanistan to forge links with tribal leaders.
Here are but a few of the areas where the twelve invisible strategies Diamond outlines in GETTING MORE will make you better able to negotiate life’s interactions:
In an era of high unemployment and economic challenges, GETTING MORE provides highly practical advice on getting a job, winning a raise or promotion, and reducing the chance of losing your job in the first place. It is must reading for anyone looking for a job, or looking to keep one.
• Parenting and Kids
Children tend to be much better natural negotiators than adults because, having less brute power, they have to learn how to persuade their parents to get what they want. GETTING MORE shows adults how children negotiate so successfully and then teaches them how to persuade their children more easily, every day.
By offering emotional payments, being incremental, and trading things of unequal value, you will be able to get more for yourself and those you have relationships with—whether it’s your spouse, colleagues, parents, or friends.
• Cultural Differences
Diamond shows how to effectively persuade those who come from very different backgrounds—whether from another country, another religion, another political group, or another department in one’s company. Potential conflict can often be reduced by developing a different attitude going in.
GETTING MORE reveals how to do just that at hotels, at car rental agencies, at restaurants, from harried airline representatives, etc., by making a personal connection with the person behind the counter and never making your own behavior the issue.
• Hard Bargainers
Diamond reveals how to turn the tables on hard bargainers out to steamroll you, by naming their bad behavior and using their own standards to get them to keep their commitments.
• Public Issues
GETTING MORE provides essential questions that individuals can ask to assess how public officials are doing—whether on the school board, on the town council, or in national and international politics. Diamond provides processes to jump-start even the most stalled negotiations and better address major world conflicts, as well as suggesting specific approaches that parties can take.
“You don’t have to actively negotiate everything in your life,” Diamond says. “But it is absolutely true that the people who are more conscious of the interactions around them get more of what they want in life.”
About the Author
Stuart Diamond is one of the world’s foremost experts on negotiation. He has taught and advised many Fortune 500 companies and has consulted with governments and public and private entities in dozens of countries, including Kuwait, Jordan, China, Russia, Brazil, Argentina, Kazakhstan, Korea, Nicaragua, and Mexico, as well as the United Nations and the World Bank. Diamond provided the process that solved the Hollywood Writer’s Guild Strike a couple years back. His award-winning course on negotiation at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania has been rated the most popular in the school by students over the last 13 years. A former associate director of the Harvard Negotiation Project at the Harvard Law School, he has been an executive or director in a variety of businesses, including aviation, agriculture, and high technology. He holds a JD from Harvard Law School, an MBA from Wharton, and a BA from Rutgers. He is also an adjunct professor at Penn Law School, and has taught at the business schools of Columbia, NYU, USC, and UCal/Berkeley. Previously, Diamond was a Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter for The New York Times. He has written more than 2,000 published articles. He lives with his wife and son in the Philadelphia area.
GETTING MORE: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World
by Stuart Diamond
Crown Business • Publication date: January 4, 2011
ISBN: 978-0-307-71689-7 •416 pages • $26.00
REVIEWS OF GETTING MORE:
“A former Pulitzer Prize–winning reporter for the New York Times. . . debuts with a superb how-to based on his immensely popular course on negotiation. You must negotiate based on your understanding of ‘the pictures in the head of the other party’—a phrase Diamond frequently uses to underscore that psychology trumps the issues at the bargaining table. . . . This immensely useful book will have wide appeal and leave many readers anxious to put their new skills to work.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred)
“Devoting a few hours to this book will give the reader a massive advantage in any negotiation.” —Stephanie Camp, Senior Digital Strategist, Microsoft
“I have used these tools to help with everything from convincing the manager of a packed restaurant to seat me immediately with no reservation to negotiating a large increase in the compensation of a job I accepted. Stuart Diamond’s class made me a more persuasive person, has changed the way I interact with people, and has dramatically improved my success in reaching better agreements of every type.”
—Daniel J. Karp, Director, Worldwide Business Development, Pfizer
“Practical, immediately applicable, and highly effective.”
—Evan Wittenberg, Head of Global Leadership Development, Google
“Invaluable in helping me to achieve my goals, whether on the field, in the office, or at home with my children.”
—Anthony Noto, Chief Financial Officer, National Football League (NFL)
“There isn’t an hour that goes by in my personal and professional lives when I DON’T use [what I learned] from your class.”
—Bill Ruhl, Director, National Customer Service Operations, Verizon
“I rely on Stuart Diamond’s negotiation tools every day.”
—Christian Hernandez, Director of International Business, Facebook
“These negotiation tools encourage women to use their differences as advantages in the negotiation process; both empowering and enabling.”
—Umer Ahmad, Executive Director, Platinum Gate Capital Manager and
former Vice President, Goldman Sachs
“Your negotiation skills about getting more were refreshing and the best we’ve ever seen.”
—Al Weber, Regional Sales Manager, Eli Lilly
“The best class at Wharton; it changed my life.”
—Jim Vopelius, Vice President and CFO, Trident Risk Management
“If I had spent my entire tuition at USC to take only your course, it would have been well worth it—the most valuable class ever, including the U of Chicago, Skidmore and UCLA.”
—Beth Brandigee, MBA, USC
“I am one of Stuart Diamond’s biggest fans—he taught me more than anyone that I can recall.” —Bob McIntosh, Procurement Director, Dell
“I would definitely rate this course as the crown jewel; it fundamentally changed my way of thinking.” —Ravi Radhakrishmnan, Senior Manager, Accenture
“The most valuable tools in my 15 years in sales, marketing and business development.”
—Sandeep Sawhney, Director of Business Development, The Weather Channel
“The best training we have received on this or any subject; the benefits were immediate and tangible.”
—Jon Sobel, former Senior Vice President, Secretary and General Counsel, Yahoo
“Stuart Diamond equipped me with the tools to be more effective in all of life’s pursuits.”
—Larry B. Loftus, Head of Proctor & Gamble, Far East