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How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety by Zachary Auburn
The cats of America are under siege!
How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
Zachary Auburn
- Imprint: Three Rivers Press
- On sale: October 4, 2016
- Price: $12.00
- Pages: 144
- ISBN: 9780451494924
212-782-9164
MALane@penguinrandomhouse.com
The American Association of Patriots presents the essential guide to protecting your cat’s nine lives from the dangers of modern society
Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were a mean dog or getting its tail stepped on. Today’s cats are vulnerable to the imminent and prevailing dangers of Satanists, online predators, the possibility surviving in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats. Luckily, HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CAT ABOUT GUN SAFETY And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives (Three Rivers Press; $12.00; on-sale October 4, 2016) is the ultimate guide for the modern American feline, brought to you by the American Association of Patriots.
Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were a mean dog or getting its tail stepped on. Today’s cats are vulnerable to the imminent and prevailing dangers of Satanists, online predators, the possibility surviving in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats. Luckily, HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CAT ABOUT GUN SAFETY And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives (Three Rivers Press; $12.00; on-sale October 4, 2016) is the ultimate guide for the modern American feline, brought to you by the American Association of Patriots.
HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CAT ABOUT GUN SAFETY is a compendium of the organization’s most notable brochures that advise how to deal with hot-button topics such as:
-Wrapping your cat in a bandolier to ensure he has the ammunition to protect himself anywhere he goes, from the darkest corners of your neighborhood to the comfort of his litterbox
-Leaving your bible open so your cat may lounge on its pages and absorb God’s wisdom
-Marrying your kitten off young to avoid the catastrophe of premarital sex
-Buying your cat the complete works of Ayn Rand to instill an appreciation of hard work and capitalism
Don’t be a cat coddler! Instead, armed with this sage advice (and a properly maintained and stored firearm, of course), go forth and raise a cat who believes in life, liberty, and the American way: a furry little purrtriot who will stand at your side to protect our great nation.