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Justin Valmassoi shares what animals are really thinking

Based on the smash-hit blog, Animals talking in all caps

Justin Valmassoi shares what animals are really thinking

Animals Talking in All Caps

Justin Valmassoi
  • Imprint: Three Rivers Press
  • On sale: August 6, 2013
  • Price: $15.00
  • Pages: 224
  • ISBN: 9780385347648
Contact: Ellen Folan

You already know your cat’s judging you when he gives you that look—but how, precisely, is he finding you inadequate?

What deep existential issues might your dog be pondering as he contemplates his favorite tennis ball?

 What are those two lions in the zoo really discussing when they roar at each other? 

If you’re an animal lover, questions like those might’ve crossed your mind from time to time—but have you also wondered whether snakes go on diets, raccoons make good real estate brokers, or alligators have to deal with clingy ex-boyfriend issues?*

 Only one man possesses both the madness needed to pose all these questions and the insight to answer them. That man is the spectacularly insane Justin Valmassoi, and in his new book ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS (Three Rivers Press, Trade Paperback, August 6, 2013)—based on the smash-hit Tumblr blog of the same name—he takes us inside the animal brain as no expert has before. Using a highly scientific combination of cute photos and capslocked captions, ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS hilariously captures the issues that are of actual concern to actual animals every day.

 You’ll never look at a squirrel the same way again.

 *yes, not especially, and very much so, in case you were wondering. 


About the Author:

JUSTIN VALMASSOI is a 33-year-old married man who makes moths talk about couscous for the amusement of hundreds of thousands of strangers. He is tremendous fun at dinner parties, but very few people invite him to dinner parties. He is housetrained and requires very little care or maintenance.  Find the blog that started it all at

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